Survival of the Fittest
by TheLIAF
Summary: Nessa likes Boq, Boq likes Galinda, Galinda likes Fiyero, Fiyero likes Elphaba, Elphaba likes him back.  The Wizard is annoyed by all the quarraling, so he cooks up a plan to settle this love pentagon once and for all.
1. Kids these days

**You may think it's not possible to get high off of too many throat lozenges…well this crackfic story is gonna prove you wrong. BEING SICK SUCKS. D=**

**I don't know how this happened; I'm not very coherent right now and had too many halls. So tell me if I should keep going.**

"Hey! Hands off my boyfriend!" grunted an irritated girl of the green variety.

"YOUR boyfriend? Fiyero's mine! We're perfect for each other!" retorted an angry blonde.

"Phfff, yeah we'll see about that in act two." Said the green one with a smirk.

"Ladies, ladies, please. There's plenty of Fiyero to go around." Cockily announced the prince.

"Ah, love triangles, they're hilarious." Noted Nessa.

"Oh for sure." Agreed his Ozness, all powerful Oscar.

Moments after Nessa spoke, Boq the Munchkin walked into the room.

"Oh, hi there Miss Galinda…" said Boq timidly.

"Shut up shorty, can't you see that Galinda and Elphaba are fighting over me?" said an annoyed Fiyero.

Boq's eye twitched.

"Pluse rushing…face flushing…hands…making…fists…" stuttered Boq.

"Wuh ohhh, looks like it's a love square now isn't it, Nessa?" said Oscar as he prodded Nessa with his elbow.

"Head reeling…jealousy…rising…" Nessa was nearly green with evny.

_*cough*_

_Woaaaah, there's a spooky resemblance now…_

"Guess I was wrong. A love pentagon then."

The tension in the air was so thick one could cut it with a dull butter knife. Then, all Hell broke loose.

"You stupid no good Artichoke! Boyfriend stealer!"

"DUMB BLONDE!"

"I'm not short! I'm vertically challenged! And Miss Galinda is mine!"

"I'll kill you, Pinky! Boq is mine!"

"I'm hungry! And Elphaba and Galinda can both be mine!"

The Wizard sighed.

_I really don't want to get involved with these hormone crazy young'uns._

"Children! Children, settle down. Hey! Galinda, no hair pulling! NO, ELPHABA, NO BITTING. Fiyero, stop giving Boq a wedgie! Nessa! Put. The. Stick. Down. NOW!

Approximately fourty-seven minutes later, a phone call to Madame Morrible, the head Shiztress, the five young adults settled down.

"Hmpf. I almost had her." Pouted Galinda.

"You wanna go Blondie?" said Elphaba as she shot a glare of unabashed anger directed at the blonde.

"Now, now children, violence is never the answer."

"What about in CoD?" asked Fiyero with his hand raised.

"I'm pretty sure Fish aren't violent." Replied the Wizard.

"No, I mean _CoD, _like Call of Duty? I mean, if you want win, you gotta do some killing."

"That's stupid question, you could easily just camp and-"

"Oh, so you're a nooby camper right, Biq? Huh? Is that it, Biq?" taunted Fiyero.

"IT'S BOQ. And it was a rhetorical statement!" spat the Munchkin.

"THAT'S IT. I DIDN'T WANT TO DO THIS, BUT YOU KIDS HAVE LEFT ME NO CHOICE. MADAME?"

Madame Morrible cackled so terrifyingly, even Elphaba shuddered.

"Yes, that's right you're Ozness, since you teenagers can't seem to simply get along-"

"We're in our twenties! We're not teenagers." interrupted Elphaba.

"Well with your interrupting problems I'd like to see you prove me wrong, though I doubt you will!"

Elphaba closed her mouth.

"Now as I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted, the Wizard and I have decided that you all need to get the stress out of yourselves. Meaning, that we're going to have: A WRESTLING COMPETITION!" finished Morrible, with a proud smile on her face.

_Jeez, I give her two months to plan and _this_ is what she comes up with?_

"Uh, yeah! That's right, winner gets the girl or guy of his or her choice, the rest is left to forever quarrel in the love square…triangle? I was never good a geometry." Continued the Wizard.

"How is this going to guarantee the love of the other for said victor?" asked Elphaba

"Because if you don't comply, Morrible will kick you out of Shiz, and brand you as some sort of public enemy alright? Kids these days…no respect."

"This isn't fair! I'm in a wheelchair!" complained Nessa.

"Argh, Fine, you get a sword alright? Sheesh."

"Great, give the girl with no co-ordination a sword. Wonderful." Said Fiyero as he rolled his eyes.

"I hate to agree with him, but something bad's going to happen." Added Boq.

"Oh _now_, you choose to agree with each other?" screamed the Wizard in frustration.

"Everyone go to your rooms!"

"Phff, who are you? My father?" muttered Elphaba

"DON'T MAKE ME GET MY METAL HEAD TO YELL! EVERYONE, OUT! NOOOOW!"


	2. The Back Up Plan

**This…this is the result of Halls and chocolate. BAD MIX. BAAAD MIX. **

**And Thanks to 3Mindy3...or was it Mindy3...3Mindy? Aghhhh… Anyways, Thanks because the love pentagon thing was first seen on her profile and it made me go, woah, I'm gonna write a crackfic on this. Or Halls fic, depending how you look at it.**

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages! I'm Avaric Tenmeadows, and it is a beau-ti-ful day!"

"Avaric, lad, cut that out. If I wanted an annoying announcer, I would have gotten Howard Cosell himself, instead of you. Mkay?" interjected the Wizard.

"Hmpf, stupid Wizard, doesn't recognize talent…alright then. Let's get started!"

*Spot light focuses on the right corner*

"In this corner, weighing at 130 pounds-"

"Excuse me?" came an indignant cry.

Aravic ignored it.

"- a lean, mean, green, fightin' machine… Elphabaaaaaa Thropp!"

*Canned Applause*

"And in _this_ corner, weighing at 180 pounds-"

"All muscle baby!" said a smug voice.

"The beast from the east, I mean west…the prince from the west… Fiiiiiiiiyeroooooooo Tiiiiiguuuulaaaaaaaar!"

"Boooo! Boooo!" jeered the munchkin sitting on the sidelines.

"Avaric! How did you set this up? They can't fight against each other!" Frowned the Wizard.

"Well, they're bound to fight each other eventually right?" said Avaric thoughtfully.

"No, boy! I foresee two outcomes, one, Fiyero lets Elphaba win so she can go on to win the entire competition, or two, Elphaba let's Fiyero win so _he_ can go on to win the entire thing! They want each other you fool! There is no fight here!"

"Ohh...poop."

Before Avaric could say anything else, Madame Morrible waddled in to the room.

"Wait! Stop, stop everyone, the competition is cancelled!" she huffed.

"Oh thank goodness, I couldn't possibly have hit Elphaba." Said Fiyero.

Elphaba blushed.

"Cancelled? Why?" demanded Oscar.

"Well, Nessa just cut off one of Galinda's ears, so I've decided that this is much too dangerous.

"Is she okay?" asked a worried Boq.

"Oh, she's fine, I just magiked her ear back on. Poof! All better."

"Well, _now_ how are we going to settle this?" grunted Oscar.

"Don't worry, your Ozness, I came up with a back up plan!" said Morrible gleefully.

An hour later all seven of the group sat around a wooden table in a conference room. Galinda had a bandage wrapped around her head even though her ear was perfectly fine.

"Now then, since the wrestling competition would have ended with many dismembered limbs, and broken bones, I propose-"

"Oh no, you don't. This time _I'm_ coming up with the challenge. A wilderness trek!" butted in the Wizard.

"Wilderness trek?" wondered the other six.

"That's right, I'll plop you all in the forest of Oz with a few supplies, where you'll have to survive! Last one standing wins."

"The forest? Without my hairdryer? Dear old Shiz…" Galinda started hyperventilating.

"Wait, how does this work? What do you mean by the last one standing?" asked Fiyero

"I mean, I'll have video cameras set up everywhere, so the Madame and I can always monitor you, if any of you seem to be on the brink of death, we'll come save you and you'll be eliminated from the competition." Explained Oscar.

"Oh, because this is totally safe." Sarcastically mumbled Nessa, "and once again, this isn't fair, I'm in a wheelchair!"

"You get to start with a box of matches, how's that?" bargained the Wizard.

"Fine, whatever."

"And remember, in the forest, _anything_ goes." Added the Wizard coyly.

"Oh boy! This'll be like one great wilderness adventure!" said Boq excitedly.

"Wait, what about me?" asked Avaric.

"Son, you'll be the announcer along with me. We'll get to update the viewers on what's going on, make a few snappy remarks, the works!" said Oscar as he patted Avaric's back.

"Wait, viewers?"

"Of course, Elphaba, we're recording everything remember?"

"So this is just a get rich quick scheme?" accused the green girl.

"No, no, this is a make-everyone-friends-again-and-get-me-a-few-bucks- scheme. All in good fun."

"I get to be on Ozvision?" Squealed Galinda.

"Of course, we all do."

"Hey, I like this idea." Added Fiyero.

"Indeed you do lad, I'm a genius."

"Ugh, I refuse to be apart of this abomination of a reality show." Grumbled Elphaba.

"Well fine then, that means you forfeit and can neither win or be chosen by the victor." Shrugged Oscar.

"Wait what?"

"And I guess that means Fiyero will be choosing Galinda, should he win. I mean, I doubt he'd choose Nessa, no offence dear, and Boq…well, Fiyero doesn't strike me as that kind of person."

"You blackmailing S.O.B." said Elphaba through gritted teeth.

"Yeah…that's me." Said the Wizard with a triumphant grin on his face.

"Fine, I'm in."

**Pretty boring. XD, Promise it'll get better =]**


	3. Wilderness Adventures

**And this…is the result of Buckley's and Chocolate. WORSE MIX. DON'T TRY IT D= …ughh, I had a relapse, I'm sicker than ever. So…the story chapter below might make zero to no sense. Wait…isn't that the same thing?...Ugh. **

"Welcome to Wilderness Adventures! I'm your host Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs, and with me is Avaric "Cart Boy" Tenmedows!" started the Wizard.

"Cart MAN, I'm not a boy!"

"That's great lad, now our contestants are just about to be dropped in a different part of the Forest of Oz, where they'd battle great beasts, use all their survival skills, and challenge death himself for the one they love!"

"Snakes, bears, thirst, oh my!" cried Avaric.

"Haha, indeed, now let's go to Galinda Upland with Madame Morrible."

*In helicopter*

"So Galinda, how do you think you're going to do? What's your strategy in the forest?"

"Well, I don't know too much about survival, but I do know that'll I be needed food, water, and shelter."

"Any idea on how you'll be getting these things?"

"You mean that it's not already set up for me?" asked a wide eyed Galinda.

"Uh, no dear."

"THEN THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE! AHHH!" She shrieked.

"Calm down dearie, here you're allowed this hatchet." Said Morrible has she handed it to her.

"What good is this? I can't even cut my nails with these!" screamed Galinda in a shrill voice.

"Uh, back to you, you're Ozness." Mumbled Morrible.

*Back at the studio*

"Well then…she should be fun to watch, ain't that right, Wizard?" Chuckled Avaric.

"Oh for sure." Agreed Oscar.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, the moment you've all been waiting for! We'll count down together before the contestants are to sky dive out of their helicopters!"

"Three!"

"Two!"

"One!"

*Gun shot*

"The contest is officially underway! So, Avaric, who should we view first?"

"Hmm, I want to see some Nessa action. I mean, how is she going to land?"

*Cameras zoom to Nessa falling through the sky*

"AHHHHH! THIS IS CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT!"

"Uh, Oscar, this can't possibly be legal to do to someone handicapped…" started Avaric.

"Not to worry my boy! Keep watching!" smile the Wizard.

Nessa plummeted head first into the shallow lake, as her head broke the surface she spat out water and cursed. As she crawled onto land, she spotted an electric wheelchair.

"Ahh, clever, make the water absorb the impact." Noted Avaric.

"Of course lad!"

"But the wheelchair…isn't that a bit of an advantage?"

"Not at all, it can only go up to ten miles an hour, while I'm sure Master Fiyero could sprint roughly twenty. Speaking of Fiyero, let's go to Prince Charming now."

*Cameras focus on Fiyero*

Fiyero was hopelessly tangled in his parachute, "Aw c'mon! Who put this random tree here?" Moaned Fiyero as he tried using his hatchet to cut his way out of the cloth. He finally fell free and landed flat on his back.

"Ouch! He's gonna feel that in the morning!" Laughed Avaric.

Fiyero's stomach rumbled.

"Oh Oz. I need some food."

As he started making his way farther into the forest, he knew he could easily survive these forests, he'd been training for these kinds of things back when he was a kid in the Vinkus.

"Heh, I'm so gonna win." Said Fiyero with an arrogant grin.

"Hey Oscar, says here that Fiyero had to survive a week on his own back in Winkie country as apart of his manhood ceremony thing." Pointed out Avaric, "So he has an advantage."

"Maybe if this was any old forest, but these are _my_ forests! I could make the whole arena transform into magical pony land! I could cause the lions in the forest to grow eight times in size, or turn the water into apple juice! Lad, I could do anything to the contestants. No one has any advantage." Said Oscar with an all knowing smile.

"Oscar, that sounds really creepy and sadistic." Said Avaric in a deadpan voice.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I'm not _that_ messed up, let's just enjoy the show!"

*Cameras go to Elphaba*

"That should about do it." Mumbled Elphaba as she finished tying up her parachute into a make shift tent.

"Woah! How did she do that already Oscar?" Exclaimed an impressed Avaric.

"She's quite sharp isn't she?"

"Sharp? She's already got a tent, firewood, oh- and now a fire! She created a fire by putting a droplet of water on her glasses, held it to the sun, and directed the beam of light onto her pile of wood! Genius! Now she can boil water for drinking too! She's right next to a pond!"

Avaric was in awe at the green girl.

"Avaric? Son, close your mouth, you'll attract moths. How about we go to Galinda now?"

*Screens flicker to an image of the blonde*

"What's she doing?" Asked the Wizard.

"I have absolutely no idea…" Replied Avaric.

Galinda was standing in a river, not moving. She needed to find food, but didn't know which berries were edible, so she decided to catch some fish. However, catching fish and finding fish were two very different tasks.

"Not. Fair." Mumbled Galinda under her breath.

"What was that?" Said Avaric as he cocked head ever so slightly.

"I get my feet wet by walking into this river, and there's no fish! That's just not fair!" Pouted Galinda.

Then she saw a flicker of movement with the corner of her left eye.

_A fish!_

Galinda jumped in the direction of the fish, but to no avail. She had missed.

"My clothes! Ahhhhhhh!"

"Ahahahahahaha!" Laughed both the Wizard and Avaric.

"Oh man, I love this girl! She's so pathetic it's…hilarious!" Laughed Avaric, clutching his sides.

"Now, now that's not nice to say." Said the Wizard, trying to suppress his laughter.

"She's totally out of her element. She belongs at a mall, not in the forest!" Continued Avaric.

"I'm sure she'll pick up a few things along the way, this competition could last from a week to three months! Maybe even more, but now, let's turn our attention to the Munchkin, Boq." Said the Wizard.

Boq was chopping down wood with his hatchet.

"A lot of help wood's going to do if you don't have a fire." Mused Avaric.

"Keep watching boy, and hold your tongue." Scolded Oscar.

Boq stacked the logs one by one, on top of each other...he was making a house.

"Hey, where'd he get the rope?"

"Ingenious, young Boq used the rope from his parachute! Looks like Miss Thropp has some competition in terms of survival skills."

"That's pretty fine looking house, and Munckin boy's a lot stronger than he looks." Mumbled Avaric.

"Indeed. But he has no water, and according to this map of the forest I just so happen to have, he's at least four kilometres away from any water source."

"Wuh ohhh, that's not good. He'll have to leave his shelter for quite a long period of time just to get some water."

"Indeed. Well folks, this has been day one of wilderness adventures! You've met the contenders, now stay tuned, and we'll see how they fare tomorrow! Who knows, there might be something as radical as a tornado, or a random bear attack on a poor unsuspecting contestant! This has been Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs."

"And Avaric "Cart man" Tenmedows, on Wilderness Adventures, thanks for watching!"

**This was slightly based on The Hunger Games; don't ask me why, I've been drugged with Buckley's…**

**Reviews would be nice though =]**


	4. Rain rain go away!

"Welcome back folks! I'm Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs, and here with me is Avaric "Cart Boy" Tenmedows"

"Cart MAN! I'm twenty-two for Oz sakes!" shouted Avaric.

"If you're a man, then what am I?"

"Old. Ancient, I don't know!"

"Well then, last time we left our heroes, Elphaba "Green Bean" Thropp already had her shelter made, water at her disposal, a fire, she had everything!"

"Except food." Interjected Avaric.

"Yes, except food. Let's see what she's up to now."

*Cameras zoom in on Elphaba*

Elphaba didn't move a muscle. She was holding a bow she fashioned herself, made from a tree branch, and left over rope from her parachute. The arrow she was using was a twig whose end she had sharpened with her hatchet.

"Even from here, I feel compelled to be quiet." Whispered Avaric.

"Then why are you talking?" Whispered Oscar back.

"Shhh..."

Elphaba let her arrow fly; she hit a squirrel right in the eye.

"Bulls eye!" shouted The Wizard.

"No, squirrel's eye." Corrected Avaric.

"Are you always a smart ass, boy?"

"No, not always."

"Hmpf."

*Cameras turn to Galinda*

Galinda was sitting under her parachute, which she had draped over two tree branches to create a tent.

"Wow, I'm surprised her blissful blonde brain thought of something like that." Grumbled Avaric.

"Give her _some_ credit, Avaric." Sighed the Wizard.

"Hey, that's that glowing button on the control panel?"

"Don't know lad, how about you press it?" answered the Wizard wryly.

Avaric pressed the button, and suddenly the all that was shown on the cameras was a sudden downpour of heavy rain.

"What the-"

"Remember how I said I could control anything? Weather's included!" laughed the Wizard.

From one of the screens, a scream was heard.

"THIS SUCKS!" Screamed Fiyero.

_It was perfectly sunny ten seconds ago! What happened?_

Fiyero was caught in the rainstorm without a shelter.

"Looks like Fiyero "Pretty Boy" Tiggular is in quite the pickle, eh Oscar?" Chuckled Aravic.

"Poor kid, he's probably stressing about this hair getting ruined right now."

Fiyero was running through the forest, not sure where he was going, but he thought to himself, that maybe, just maybe, he could possibly out run the storm.

"Why didn't I build a shelter?" Moaned Fiyero.

At that moment, Fiyero stumbled onto a log cabin.

"Jackpot! I knew I'd be fine, I have this rebellion bubble you see, that allows me to get away with anything." Said Fiyero arrogantly as he looked directly into the camera.

As Fiyero opened the door, Boq walked out.

"Wuh ohhhh, I think Pretty Boy's bubble's just been popped." Said Avaric.

"Shh, it's getting exciting…pass the popcorn." Grunted Oscar.

Fiyero and Boq stared right into each others eyes. Finally Fiyero spoke, "So…mind if I crash here?"

"Well, what's in it for me?"

"I don't know man, but do it out of the goodness of your heart?" Fiyero gave a hopeful smile.

"Hmm, if I leave you out there, you'll get sick and most definitely lose, meaning my biggest threat is eliminated…" started Boq.

"Well, who's to say I couldn't just beat you up right now and leave you for dead? Remember what the Wizard said, anything goes."

"That's right, isn't it?" Boq raised his hatchet.

Fiyero took out his own, and dropped it. A confused Boq started at it for a few seconds, a few seconds too long. Fiyero's fist connected with Boq's jaw with a sickening crack.

"OH! THAT'S GOTTA HURT!" Shouted Avaric, "That's playing dirty isn't it?"

"Nope, anything goes in the Forest of Oz." replied Oscar.

Boq stumbled backwards, and Fiyero landed a drop kick on his back. The Munchkin fell to the ground, but stood back up and swung his hatchet like a madman. The blade grazed Fiyero's forearm.

"Son of a Munckin!" Cursed Fiyero.

"I know I am!" Yelled Boq, as he roundhouse kicked Fiyero in the stomach.

"Oof! Hey, I need that for eating!" wheezed Fiyero as he lay on the ground.

Boq was about to strike the hatchet deep into Fiyero's back, when the Winkie Prince sweeped the Munckin's legs, causing him to fall. Fiyero Got up, picked up Boq, and threw him of the cabin, he followed the Munckin out of the cabin, bent down and punched him once in the temple. Boq fell unconscious.

"He was gonna kill me!" Fiyero said to himself.

Fiyero decided to just leave him here…after a kick to the ribs, and a shove down a gentle slope, littered with sharp rocks.

"Now, that was pretty intense wasn't it?" Muttered the Wizard.

"Totally, hey Oscar, could I have a DVD copy of this later? I mean, this is like, one heck of a great movie right here."

Avaric noticed another flashing button.

"Hey, what does this one do? A Firestorm? Releases evil bat creatures? Flying monkeys?"

"No, that's signaling that it's time to pick up Boq." Answered the Wizard.

"He's dead?" Gasped a shocked Avaric.

"Well, not yet, he's on the brink of death, after that fist fight with Fiyero, and he's probably going to catch one heck of a cold from this rainstorm."

The Wizard threw Avaric a set of keys.

"Keys to the invisible boatmobile, go pick him up."

"…this wasn't in the job description…" Muttered Avaric has he put on his coat.

"Well, it looks like Boq "Short Stuff" Tinstein has been eliminated folks!"

Fiyero sighed as he sat down in the simple log cabin, and ran a hand through his wet hair.

"One down three more to go…"


	5. Pwnd by bunnies

"Previously on Wilderness Adventures, Boq "Short Stuff" Tinstein was eliminated from the competition after an intense fist fight with Fiyero "Pretty Boy" Tiggular. Nessa "Tragically Beautiful" Thropp had befriended a wild bull, whom she named Mittens, and Galinda "Confusified Blonde" learned how to catch fish-"

"Incredible feat might I add." Said Avaric

"Don't interrupt me boy, where was I? Oh yes, and Elphaba "Green Bean" Thropp seems to be living quite contently with her campsite." Finshed the Wizard.

"Let's go to Fiyero now." Suggested Avaric.

*Cameras focus in on Fiyero*

Fiyero was sleeping in the log cabin that Boq had made, he woke up with a sudden start.

"What is this feeling in the pit of my stomach?" He mumbled drowsily to himself.

His stomach gurgled.

"Ohh...shoot…I'm hungry."

It'd had been nearly four days since Fiyero had anything to eat. One day one he couldn't find any trace of life, on day two he had a scrap with Boq, and on day three he had been nursing his wounds, which was to say he sat around feeling sorry for himself, and cursed colourfully at the Wizard.

"I need some food, fast." He grumbled as he sat up.

Fiyero walked around the forest looking for any signs of life. A rustle in the bush there, the crunching of leaves here, anything.

"Doesn't he realize he just passed a strawberry bush?" Muttered Avaric, "He can't be _this_ brainless."

"Oh, but he is." Mused the Wizard.

Fiyero was about ready to give up and just settle for some grass when he saw it, a little bunny.

"Normally I wouldn't eat a bunny, but I am pretty hungry…"

As Fiyero crouched down and readied himself to grab the rabbit, it turned around.

"Don't' move, don't move…" he mumbled under his breath.

"Is he talking to himself or the bunny?" Asked Avaric.

"Not sure, although the bunny's probably smarter." Replied the Wizard.

Fiyero was just about to lunge and grab the bunny, when suddenly it jumped onto his face and hopped away. He reeled around to grab at it when suddenly he heard a rumbling noise. Fiyero turned back around, and couldn't believe his eyes, there was an entire stampede of woodland creatures!

"Packs of bunnies…" gasped Fiyero.

Elk, deer, bunnies, squirrels, chipmunks, a random falcon! All charging toward the Winkie Prince. He came to his senses and tried to sprint away, but it was too late, they were upon him. The deer trampled his face; the elk tramped his limbs, the moose kicked at his chest, the smaller animals cause him to nearly drown in the fluffy furriness of it all.

Fiyero heard the falcon screech once before he blacked out.

"Fiyero just got pwned by woodland creatures. He got pwned by BUNNIES!" Laughed Avaric.

"Uhh, I'm old Avaric, I'm not updated on teenage slang." Said the Wizard quietly.

"Oh sorry old timer, Pwned; verb; to get owned. Hard." Avaric bursted out laughing again, "Bunnies! He was knocked unconscious by bunnies! And chipmunks!"

"That was pretty pathetic wasn't it?" Chuckled Oscar.

Avaric was rolling around the floor laughing.

"AHAHAHAHAHAH! BUNNIES!" He cried out.

"Be professional, boy." Scolded the Wizard with a smile.

*Cameras turn to Galinda*

Galinda was managing her fire, how on Oz she managed to get it was out of pure luck, during the rainstorm, lightening had struck a branch and lit it on fire.

"We're going to make you pop-u-lar…" She sang as she remembered that night with her roommate.

"Ugh, stupid jealousy issues, I wish Elphie and I could just be friends again…" Muttered Galinda absent mindedly.

"What's this? Could Galinda be losing her edge?" Asked the Wizard.

"If so, it could be Elphaba who takes Fiyero." Noted Avaric.

Galinda heard a branch snap, she stiffened.

"Relax, it's just me." Said a female voice.

"Elphie?"

"Who? No, it's me, Nessa"

Galinda turned and saw a young girl in an electric wheelchair.

"Oh hi, Nessa. Wait, Nessa! Why are you here? We're supposed to be rivals in this thing!" Said Galinda nervously.

"Oooo, what could Nessa "Tragically Beautiful" Thropp be planning?" Said Avaric in his best announcer voice, "Stay tuned, we'll be back after these messages!"

"What are you talking about, boy?" Questioned the Wizard, "We're not going to commercial!"

"We're not?" Said Avaric, mildly horrified.

"No!" Oscar nearly shouted.

"But, but I need a …errr…" Avaric looked embarrassed.

"What? Spit it out son!" Said Oscar, clearly irritated.

"I need…um…a potty break."

"A potty break." Repeated Oscar, "What are you, four? Can't you hold it?" Screamed the Wizard.

Avaric shook his head.

"Why didn't you go before? Go, go on! Hurry back!" Grunted Oscar, "Sorry about that folks."

*Cameras zoom back to Galinda and Nessa*

"So, Galinda, I'd like you to meet my friend, Mittens." Said Nessa.

"Oh, that's such a cute name!" Gushed Galinda, "Is it a bunny? I've seen so many bunnies, but I could never catch one."

At that moment, Mittens the Bull came clopping up.

"AHHHH! MAD COW! AHHHHH!" Screamed Galinda.

"Galinda, calm down he's friendly!" Said Nessa Calmly.

"You're wicked! He's going to kill me! I knew it, this is apart of your plan, you…you wicked witch of the east!" Screamed Galinda.

"East? Why east? And no, Galinda! I'm offended at how you could possibly think that!" growled Nessa.

"East, because according to the constellations, that's the direction from where you came from! And I know you hate me! You think I'm trying to take Boq from you, but sister, you can have him!" Shouted Galinda.

"I'm back!" Announced Avaric, "What'd I miss?"

Avaric watched a short replay.

"Oooo, catfight! This should be interesting!" Said Avaric with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm more focused on how Galinda, airheaded Galinda, can read the constellations…" Said the Wizard, deep in thought.

Galinda screamed again, and this time she kicked at Mittens, this sudden movement scared the bull and he started charging, right in the direction of one Nessarose Thropp.

"Mittens! Stop!" Shrieked Nessa.

But the bull didn't listen, he rammed right into Nessa, and continued charging, right off a cliff.

"WOAH! TIME OUT!" Yelled the Wizard as he pressed a button.

Time instantly frozen in the arena, one could see the shock on Galinda's face, the pain on Nessa's.

"What'd you do Oscar?" Whisper Avaric .

In response, the old man tossed Avaric a set of keys, "Go pick her up."


	6. Strawberries

**Thanks for all the reviews =], and I'm just wondering, did anyone catch my running gag of random Wicked song names from the previous chapters? Yes? Good for you! No? o_o, guess they blended in the paragraph pretty well then. XD**

"Welcome back to day five on Wilderness Adventures! I'm your host, Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs!"

"And I'm Avaric "Cart Man" Tenmedows! Last time on Wilderness Adventures, Nessa "Tragically Beautiful" Thropp failed to defy gravity after getting rammed by a mad cow right off a cliff."

"Son, I believe it was a bull." Corrected the Wizard.

"Bulls, cows, they all taste the same to me, and it seems as if no one mourns the wicked, so said Galinda to Nessa, as she simply walked away from the scene of the crime."

"In the direction of a certain green girl…" Added the Wizard.

"Oh yes, Elphaba "Green Bean" Thropp, seems to have everything under control in her at her little camp. She had just about everything set up in one short day! She's incredible…" Said Avaric dreamily.

"Avaric? Stay with me lad. You can't go adding to the love pentagon! Or is a hexagon now? Curse thee foul geometry, thou hast bested me for the last time!" Boomed the Wizard.

"No, no of course not." Sputtered Avaric, "I'm not that guy." He said sheepishly.

The Wizard sighed.

"Finishing up on the update, Fiyero "Pretty Boy" Tiggular, had been rendered unconscious by fluffy woodland creatures...pretty pathetic eh, Oscar?" snickered Avaric.

"Indeedily my boy. Now, let's get this show on the road!"

*Cameras focus in on Fiyero*

"I am so HUNG-Y." Yelled Fiyero has he looked up to the sky.

"Hung-y? Does he mean hungry?" Questioned the Wizard.

"Probably, but he doesn't seem very coherent right now." Answered Avaric.

"Oh, I know the feeling."

Fiyero woke up several hours in a daze after the ambush of furry animals, he decided if the couldn't catch any game, he'd simply eat some grass, maybe find some berries later, and if worse comes to worse, he'd start eating himself. Fiyero was clearly delusional, it'd had been about two days since he saw water.

"Woaahh, trippy." Mumbled Fiyero as he munched on some grass.

The morning dew on the grass was somewhat clearing his fuzzy, water deprived brain; Fiyero came to his senses just enough to realize that he was next to a strawberry bush.

"Food! Glorious food!" Fiyero was nearly crying as he started shoving the berries in his mouth, fistfuls at a time.

"Ahahahahaha! Let's pause this!" Said Avaric.

*Screenshot of Fiyero cramming strawberries into his mouth*

"Time to edit!" Continued Avaric with a mischievous grin.

*Words "Onomnomnomnomnom" written on the screenshot*

"Focus lad." Reprimanded the Wizard.

Fiyero lay on the grass, stomach full of strawberries, and face covered in berry juice. He was about ready to doze off when he suddenly heard some rustling behind him.

"Whose there?" He shouted.

"Hey Avaric, press that button for me, Mkay?" Beckoned the Wizard.

Avaric pressed the glowing blue button.

Suddenly, a large man in a safari suit, holding a large gun came running out of the woods behind the prince. He must have been at least 6'6, weighed at least 200 pounds, with insane green eyes focused on the Winkie.

"…Strawberry?" Offered Fiyero nervously.

In response, the man cocked his gun.

Fiyero took off sprinting, faster than he ever ran before.

"Wuh ohh, he's going to get a cramp after eating all those berries, isn't he, Oscar?" Said Avaric in a teasing tone.

Fiyero was wheezing and panting within a few minutes; he didn't dare stop, or even look behind him. The prince jumped over rocks, ducked at low hanging branches, at one point swam across a shallow stream.

"Kid's got some moves, guess all that dancing through life finally paid off." Scoffed Avaric.

The man in the safari suit was behind running effortlessly behind Fiyero.

"Cue March of the Witch Hunters music. That could be this guy's theme song!" Said an amused Wizard.

"Oh Oz, I *gasp* *wheeze* I'm…*cough* dead!" breathed Fiyero.

After a good ten minutes of continuous running, Fiyero finally looked behind him.

_Where'd he go?_ Wondered Fiyero.

The Winkie didn't have time to think, all of the sudden, his face collided with a something solid and he fell forward.

"Hey! Watch where you're going!" Screamed the person he was on top of.

"Galinda?"

"Wha- Fiyero? What are you doing here?" Asked a confused blonde.

"Galinda, we gotta go! There's some crazy whack job with a big gun, and he doesn't like me very much!" Panted Fiyero.

"There's no one here, Fiyero, are you sure you're ok?" Said Galinda, in a concerned tone.

"Uh…well, it has been a while since I had some water, and food. I'm hungry." Mumbled Fiyero.

"Well, come with me then, I'll fix you up!" Said the bubbly girl.

"What's this? An alliance between Galinda "Confusified Blonde" Upland, and Fiyero "Pretty Boy" Tiggular? How will this play out for Elphaba? Find out next time, on Wilderness Adventures! This has been Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs."

"And Avaric "Cart Man" Tenmedows! Peace out y'all!"


	7. Paranoia

Previously on Wilderness Adventures…

*Flash Back*

"_Mmm, Strawberries."_

"_Oh my Oz! Don't hurt me!"_

"_Ow! Watch where you're going!"_

"_Galinda, we gotta go! There's some whack job after me!"_

*Flash forward*

"Yo, what up my home dogs? This here is Avaric "Pimped out Cart man" Tenmedows, and with me, is my number one, G, Osssscaar!"

"Why are you talking like that, boy?"

"Fiyero said it'd make me sound cool. Did it work?"

"No, and you ruined the introduction!"

The Wizard cleared his throat.

"Welcome, to Wilderness Adventures! I'm your host, Oscar "The Wizard" Diggs and this here is Avaric "Cart Boy" Tenmedows. I suppose he's co-hosting with me."

"Yo, G, that's "Pimped out Cart man" to you."

"Don't try me, boy. Don't try me."

*Cameras focus on Elphaba*

Elphaba was pacing back and forth muttering to herself.

"Last time we left Elphaba "Green Bean" Thropp, she had just about everything under control."

Avaric's face blanked out into a vacant stare with a dreamy smile.

"Also, it appears that Avaric "Cart Boy" Tenmedows, has developed a crush on said "Green Bean".

Avaric flushed.

"Just move the cameras back to the arena." Grumbled Avaric.

"They're all against me…I have to eliminate all of them. Trust no one. No one can be trusted. No one." Said Elphaba under her breath as her left eye twitched.

Elphaba leaned against a tree stump, and wrung her hands together as she muttered to herself.

"No one is my friend. They're all my enemies…"

"What happened to Elphie?" Cried Avaric, "She's gone all paranoid and…creepy. Not that I mind though, I mean personally, I think she's great no matter what. I mean the greatest contender here, I mean. I mean…good, at…winning. Chance…yeah." Stuttered Avaric.

"Maybe the stress of it all just finally got to the poor girl, or maybe the lack of human contact triggered some sort of animalistic instinct for survival. Or maybe, just maybe, I possibly might have drugged her food with something to make her a little more interesting to watch. But enough about that, let's go to our Flinda alliance!"

*Cameras zoom in on Galinda and Fiyero*

"Galinda, I swear there was some seven foot tall guy with a huge shot gun and, and-"

Fiyero bursted into tears.

"It was horrible!"

"Oh, its ok sweetheart, I'm sure the bad man's gone now. Everything will be ok." Consoled Galinda, as she rubbed Fiyero's back.

Fiyero sniffed and wiped his eyes, "Do…do you have any food?"

"Um no, Fiyero, you ate it all while you were wallowing in self pity…"

Fiyero sniffed again.

"But we can go find some! It'll be fun! Just you and me!" Squealed Galinda.

*Cameras go to Elphaba*

Elphaba stared at the spear she had fashioned from a plank of wood.

_Sharp as a knife…_

Elphaba squinted as she saw two figures appear over the horizon, she recognized them almost instantly. It was Fiyero and Galinda.

_Perfect, now I'll get to test this thing out…_

Elphaba's lips curved upward with a morbid grin as she climbed in to a tree for an aerial assault on the pair.

"Oscar, just what exactly did you put in her food? I don't like this one bit…"

"Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head about that, Avaric, let's just watch the fun!"

"You really _are_ sick dude…"

Fiyero's stomach grumbled for the sixth time in four minutes.

"Can you keep that thing down?" Grunted Galinda, "It's absolutely annoyifiying!"

"Well so are all the words that don't make sense! What's a scandalacious and why do you keep calling me that? Huh? Is it bad? Are you calling me a dog? I don't appreciate being called a dog. Well, it wouldn't be the first time, but still!"

"Are you finished your little rant?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Good!"

"Good!"

"For good!"

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Elphaba chose that moment to leap out of the tree and land on Fiyero.

"Oof!"

"Elphie? Elphie! Oh, Elphie! How've you been?" Squealed Galinda.

One look into the green girl's eyes nearly stopped Galinda's heart.

_That's not my Elphie._

"Hey! Get off me!" Groaned Fiyero.

Elphaba jumped off of the Winkie.

"Fiyero…we should go…" Started Galinda.

"Go? Go where? Why go? I don't wanna go."

"Fiyero…" Said Galinda more warily as she started moving backwards.

"Come on, you're being silly, it's just Elphaba!"

Elphaba swung at him with her spear, it grazed Fiyero's shirt, ripping the fabric.

"Hey! This is silk you know!"

"Fiyero!" Screamed Galinda.

Elphaba lunged forward and started stabbing at the prince, who would barely dodge the swipes each time.

"Stop! Elphaba!" He cried desperately.

Elphaba didn't stop; she kept trying to stab at Fiyero, with more ferocity in each swipe. Finally, she had Fiyero back up into the lake, where he dived in and attempted to swim away from the crazed green girl.

"Elphaba Thropp! Stop trying to kill Fiyero!" Yelled Galinda as she tried to grab the spear from her.

But Elphaba shrugged her off as easily as a fly, and Galinda landed face first into the water.

Then she threw the spear in the direction of the Winkie, where the shaft collided with his face.

"Ouch! Looks like Fiyero's learning some physics."

"How so, Avaric?"

"Well he's learned that two objects, i.e., his face and the spear, cannot occupy the same space at the same time."

"Hmm, I didn't know that. I wasn't good at math either."

"It's science dude."

"Well, I guess I wasn't good at that either!" Yelled the Wizard, "Back to the fight!"

Elphaba had jumped into the lake as well, and was speeding towards Fiyero like a rocket.

"No, *gasp* *cough* stay away, damn it, I *wheeze* suck at…swimming!" Gasped Fiyero.

"Are you really going to let Elphaba kill Fiyero? I wouldn't mind I guess, but that's pretty harsh."

"No, no, stop worrying! Life's more painless for the brainless you know." Said Oscar as he pressed a button on his control panel.

"Oh boy…" Sighed Avaric.

At that moment Elphaba realized where she was and what she was doing, how she got there the green girl had no idea, but what she did understand was a dorsal fin had just broke the surface of the water.


	8. Too pretty to die!

**Woah check out this crazy fast update. XD**

"Fiyero, look out!" Yelled Elphaba as she started swimming for the shore.

"Huh-wa?"

"Fiyero, get out of the water! There's a shark!"

And with that, Fiyero started to frantically swim toward land, but to no avail, he was splashing around in a circle without actually getting anywhere.

"Sheesh, who taught him how to swim? A half dead camel?" Said Avaric as he shook his head in pity.

The shark, alerted by the splashing, started to circle around Fiyero.

_Oh crap!_ _I'm going to die!_

"Don't eat me! I'm too pretty to die! Look at this face!" Screamed Fiyero.

The shark, in response, started to swim even closer to the panicking Winkie.

"C'mon man! Be cool now!" Stuttered Fiyero nervously.

"Fiyero! Dive down! Sharks rarely attack unless they're above their prey!" Screamed Elphaba.

Fiyero took a big gulp of air before diving below water; he went down five feet, then ten. He tried to relax as he looked up; the shark was still circling above, but wasn't advancing on him.

_Maybe it'll go away? _Thought Fiyero hopefully.

"Oscar…what are you planning? I don't like that look on your face…" Said Avaric warily.

The Wizard smirked and pressed another button.

Fiyero was suddenly aware of a sharp pain in his left leg, he was bleeding!

_When did that happen?_

The shark was instantly aggravated by the scent of blood, and immediately dived down to attack the Prince. Fiyero let out an under water scream before swimming as fast as he could toward the surface. As his head broke the surface he screamed again, the shark had got him!

Rows of jagged teeth pierced the Winkie's right leg, and he was being violently shaken by the great fish.

"Getting…dizzy…blood loss…leg going numb…" Mumbled Fiyero.

Elphaba Thropp readied her bow from the shore.

_I can't miss._ She thought to herself.

She had no idea how much a little pointed stick would do against the rough skin of the shark, but if maybe, just maybe, if she hit the eyes, Fiyero might have a chance.

She steadied her bow and took aim, holding her breath, she released the arrow.

The arrow struck the shark in the centre of its eye.

"Bulls eye!" Cried the Wizard.

"Shark's eye you mean." Corrected Avaric.

The Wizard smacked Avaric upside the head.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"For being a smartass!"

The shark reeled back as it released its grip on Fiyero, now mumbling incoherently about strawberries. As it shark swam away from the Winkie, Fiyero started to sink.

"Elphie! Save Fiyero!" Cried Galinda as she realized what was happening to the Prince.

Elphaba cursed colourfully as she leaped back into the water, she swam out to where the Prince was last seen, before taking a deep breath and diving underwater. The green girl's heart nearly stopped when she saw him lying on the lake floor, unconscious. Elphaba quickly grabbed Fiyero and started to swim toward the surface, after she towed him to the shore, she realized he wasn't breathing.

"Is he going to be ok, Elphie?" Whimpered Galinda.

"I- I don't know. Wait let me try something."

Elphaba started to push at the Winkie's chest with her hands, thrusting them up and down, and after doing this thirty times, she took a deep breath, pinched his nose, tilted his head up and tried forcing the air into his throat. She then resumed compressing his chest.

Galinda stared in confusion.

_What's she doing?_

At that moment she heard a loud engine accelerating towards them.

Avaric was speeding towards them in a maserati bird cage, with a content look on his face. When hopped out of the car, he went over and put a hand on Elphaba's shoulder.

"Elphaba? I'll take it from here. Don't worry." He said with a smile.

"What are you talking about?"

Avaric, with a slight grunt, picked up Fiyero and placed him in his car.

"Where are you taking him? He's not even breathing! He needs medical attention!" Exclaimed Elphaba.

"That's why I'm taking him with me, sweetheart." Said Avaric with a chuckle.

Galinda draped an arm around her friend.

"Don't worry, Elphie, he knows what he's doing."

Avaric gave them one last wave as he hit the gas pedal and sped off.

Galinda sighed as azure eyes met chocolate ones.

"Three down…" She mumbled.

"Two to go." Finished the Green one.


	9. Course Selections! I mean, Chapter 9

**I'M A LITTLE HYPER RIGHT NOW CAUSE I FINALLY GOT MY CONFUZZLING COURSE SELECTIONS DONE AHAAHHAHAH WOOO HOOOO IN YOUR FACE SOCIETY, HOORAY FOR SUMMER SCHOOL! ...o_O did I just say that...ew. Stupid high school. Messing up my brain...o_o I have a brain?... Ignore this messed up author's note and enjoy the chapter I updated fast cause IM DONE MY CONFUSIFIYING COURSE SELECTIONS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

"Hey everyone! Avaric "Cart Man" Tenmedows here! And, Oscar, Fiyero's hundreds of fan girls are just dying to know, is he going to make it?"

"Huh. I wonder why no one cared about Boq or Nessa…but anyways, there's a spell over the arena, which causes any injuries accumulated in the competition to vanish if the contender is eliminated or leaves the grounds."

"Too many big words."

The Wizard closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke slowly.

"The moment you put Fiyero in the car, since it's not apart of the arena, he was perfectly fine. Same with Nessa and Boq, they're all ok too."

"Oh, ok. Why didn't you just say that?"

"Urgh. Speaking of the car, I'm not a sentimental man, but you scratched it! Be careful with that car, boy! It's more expensive than your house!"

Avaric rolled his eyes.

"Anyways, previously on Wilderness Adventures, Fiyero "Pretty Boy" Tiggular was eliminated from the competition; only Galinda "Confusified Blonde" and Elphaba "Green Bean" Thropp are left!"

"This should be exciting!" Finshed Avaric.

*Cameras zoom to Elphaba and Galinda*

"Oh, Elphie! Hold still!"

"Heck no! You're crazy! Crazy I say!"

"Elphaba Thropp, you sit down right now!"

"Get away!"

"SIT DOWN NOW!" Screamed Galinda shrilly.

Elphaba let out a sound of annoyance as she sat down. The Blonde took out a hairbrush and starting combing the green girl's hair.

"Ow! That hurts!" Complained Elphaba.

"That's because it's all tangled! Look at these knots! Honestly, Elphaba, you have such pretty hair, it wouldn't hurt to comb it once in a while!"

"What the flying monkey is this?" Said the Wizard in disgust, "Where's the action? Fighting? What's going on? And where'd she get that comb?"

"I think they're having girl time." Said Avaric as he tried suppressing his laughter.

"But…they hate each other!"

Avaric suddenly felt wiser than the Wizard for the first time.

"No." He said firmly, "They're best friends, the only reason they were fighting was because you pitted them against each other."

"What's that supposed to mean, boy? Don't be flippant with me!"

"It's just the truth, Oscar. Anyways, if they're no longer fighting, how'll this competition end? I was kinda hoping for a big finale."

The Wizard started mashing buttons on his keyboard with his fists in frustration.

"Calm down, Oscar!"

Back in the forest, Galinda and Elphaba felt the earth shake and suddenly a pride of Lions came running out of the woods screaming about math equations.

"Nine to the third power is fourty five if X is twenty seven!" Screamed a Cub as he ran past Elphaba.

"No, it's seven!" Called Elphaba as she watched the Cub disappear in the distance.

The green girl looked around.

"Galinda? Galinda, where'd you go?"

Elphaba was starting to get nervous after ten minutes of searching for the Blonde.

"Galinda, this isn't funny!"

The Wizard's eye twitched as he pressed more buttons at random.

Elphaba suddenly heard a shrill scream nearby. She ran in the direction of the scream, and soon came to a clearing.

"Elphie! Help!"

Galinda Upland was tied up on a post; next to her was a very large man in a safari suit, holding a very large gun…

"You let her go!" Shouted Elphaba.

The man, in response, raised the iron sights of his gun to his eye and pulled the trigger.

Elphaba barely had time to jump out of the way as the tree behind her exploded into splinters.

"What did the tree ever do to you?" Panted Elphaba as she continued to run from the barrel of the gun.

He cocked his gun again and fired a few more times. Elphaba dodged them all, but just barely. After a good twelve minutes later, the green girl was slowing down and gasping for breath.

"Watch out, Elphie!" Screamed Galinda.

The man swung his gun at Elphaba and hit her in her temple, she crumpled to the floor.

"Ok, Oscar! Elphaba's down! Game over! Get rid of him!" Said Avaric nervously.

The Wizard said nothing.

The man in the safari suit started to take aim.

"Oscar!" Said Avaric with much more panic in his voice.

The gun was cocked.

Avaric couldn't take it anymore; he tackled the wizard and started to frantically hit the buttons on the keyboard.

The man was just about to pull the trigger when out of the blue, Mittens the Bull appeared and rammed into him. His horns were lodged into the man's chest as Mittens hit a tree and impaled him on a splintered tree branch. Finally, the man's image started to flicker and he disappeared in a flash of blue light.

After seeing this, Avaric hopped into the car and pressed a button, he was instantly teleported to the clearing.

"Avaric!" Shouted Galinda, "Help Elphaba!"

He quickly jumped out of the car, cut down Galinda and placed Elphaba in the car. Seconds later, her eyes fluttered open.

"…I'm hungry…"


	10. Act ll

Back at the studio, there was a party held for the victor of Wilderness Adventures.

"So, Galinda! How does it feel to have won the competition?" Asked Madame Morrible.

"You know something? That was the worst experience I have ever had! Worse than that one time where Fiyero split milk on my new pink dress, you know the one? It's absolutely adorable, with lace at the bottom an-"

"Focus, Galinda, focus!" Sighed Avaric.

"Oh, well I'm happy I won, but I never want to do that again. Camping is horrienble! And nothing good really came out of it anyways!"

Elphaba chuckled as she came up behind the pink girl and draped her arms around her.

"You know, Galinda, you may say that nothing good came out of it, but remember what we were like before all this?"

Galinda pouted.

"Well, I guess we weren't exactly acting like bestest friends before. Oh, but we are now! Right, Elphie?"

"Of course. I'm sorry about everything that happened."

"Me too! I don't even know how that happened! We were talking about shoes right? And then BOOM! Argument!" Galinda pouted again.

"_You_ were talking about shoes, dear. I was trying to work on my essay, that is until Fiyero walked in."

The Wizard cleared his throat, "Well then, Galinda, remember what you get when you win?"

"Oh right!" Squealed Galinda, "I pick Fiyero!"

Fiyero was standing at the snack table eating everything in sight.

"Coming!" He mumbled with his mouth full.

Galinda noticed that Elphaba suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Oh. Elphie. Um, I'm sorry."

"No, no it's ok, Galinda, you won."

"Are you ok with it?"

Elphaba smiled, "Yeah, as long as you're mine, as my friend." She then smiled coyly, "Besides, there's always act two."

"Elphie!"

The green girl just laughed and gave the pink one a hug.

"Oh great, everyone's happy. Just great." Scoffed Boq, "What about me?"

The Wizard sighed, "You lost, go quarrel in the love pentagon."

"Oscar, there's no shape now; it's just couple problems with Boq and Nessa." Interrupted Avaric.

"Oh screw it!"

*Screen starts to fade black*

"Hey! Wait!" Elphaba suddenly shouted as she pointed at the Wizard, "You drugged me!"

*Screen goes back to the Studio*

"What?"

"Yeah! You drugged me and tried to make me kill Fiyero!"

"Hey! I remember that! That was so lame!" Yelled Fiyero as he bit into a sandwich.

"Avaric, little help here?" Whispered the Wizard.

"Sorry dude, you're a jerk." Replied Avaric with a smile.

"Uh…*gets metal head* GUARDS GUARDS! There is a fugitive loose in the studio! Find her, capture her, and bring her to me!" He boomed.

"Yes your Ozness!" Exclaimed two guards suddenly standing next to the Wizard.

"Oh, hell no." Mumbled Elphaba as she ran away while dragging Galinda behind her.

"Elphie! Where are we going?" Panted Galinda.

"Uh, the attic!"

"Aw no."

"What?"

Galinda sighed, "It's time for act two, Elphie."

Elphaba gave her friend small smile, "Don't worry, Galinda, we'll be friends forever, I promise."

**Woo hoo, I finished it =D^^^^ LOOK AT THAT FLUFFY FLUFF. XD Makes me feel warm and fuzzy. =] Just a …statement thing… though. I actually have an alternate ending because I wasn't 100% sure how to finish it, therefore if anyone wants it, leave a review or something telling me so, and I'll post it. =]**

**~Christino**


	11. Alternate Ending: Reunion

*******ALTERNATE ENDING*******

Back at the studio, there was a reunion held for the contenders of the Wilderness Adventures games.

"First off I'd like to congratulate Galinda for winning the competition, good job blondie."

Galinda flipped her hair.

Avaric continued, "The Wizard and I have been watching some of the replays, and honestly, Boq, that scrap you had with Fiyero, what caused that?"

"Well, I wanted to eliminate him from the competition of course."

*Watches replay of Boq getting punched in the face*

"Mhm, and how'd that go?"

"Phhf."

"And Elphaba, you went a little crazy there, what was that like?"

"To be honest, I don't really remember what happened."

"I do!" Chirped Galinda, "You pushed me in the water!"

"Did I? Sorry about that."

"Hmpf."

"You threw a spear at my face!" Added Fiyero.

"Did not!"

*Watches replay of Fiyero getting hit in the face*

"Wow, I have a _great_ throwing arm!"

"Fiyero, how was your encounter with our buddy, Safari man?"

"NO! BAD MEMORIES!" Fiyero started crying.

"Well…what would you say if he was in the studio now?"

Fiyero's eyes widened as he started sobbing into Nessa's shoulder.

"Get…off…me."

At that moment, the safari guy walked in.

"Hello." He said politely.

"Hey! You're a jerk you know that?" Screamed Galinda, "Thanks for taking me hostage!"

"And for smacking me in the head with your gun!" Shouted Elphaba.

"My dear, I am truly terribly sorry about that, I never meant any one any harm, but the Wizard put a shock collar on me, so that if I disobeyed him…"

Avaric twirled around and faced the Wizard.

"Dude, you're a douche, you know that?"

"Meh, been called worse." Said the Wizard as he shrugged.

"So, you're not gonna try and kill me?" Sniffed Fiyero.

"Of course not! Sorry about the stress I've caused."

"Well, now that that's cleared up, Nessa, how'd you meet Mittens?"

"Not sure, he just randomly appeared in front of me in a flash of blue light."

Avaric faced Oscar again.

"Dude."

"What?"

"I'm taking the button panel away from you." Sighed Avaric, "Anyways, since Galinda won, she gets to choose her romantic partner!"

"I choose Elphie."

"WHAT? GALINDA!" Screamed Elphaba.

"No, no, I meant, I choose that me and Elphie remain best friends even though a bunch of crazy shiz is going to happen!"

"Huh?"

"Besides, it's a given that I get Fiyero in act one anyways…"

"And expected that I get him in act two…"

"Will we still be friends?"

"Of course Galinda."

"Aww, that's so sweet." Chuckled Avaric, "Well, that's all folks! This has been Avaric "Cart Man" Tenmedows, on Wilderness Adventures!"

*Screen fades to black*

**Hooray for alternate endings XD**

**Hope you liked the story no matter which ending you preferred. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to try and break my Halls addiction. It's getting pathetic. =D**

**~Christino **


End file.
